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One of the most common concerns parents have around their kids eating is fussy eating. Parents are usually concerned that their kids refuse foods that they used to eat or are progressively reducing the range of foods they will eat. Parents feel they have tried everything from rewarding, to bribing to threatening and meal times have become a battleground, unpleasant for all concerned. Parents may even end up cooking 2 or 3 different meals for the family to cater for all the fussy eaters. Often to add to the frustration these kids eat everything at childcare!
It’s time to establish a Division of Responsibility. This is a subject heavily researched by American Dietitian and Family Therapist Ellyn Satter. Parents are responsible for what, when and where food is eaten. Children are responsible for whether and how much food is eaten. It is not parents job to get food into the child. With infants parents decide what is fed ie breast or bottle, the infant is in control of everything else. The parent helps the infant to be calm and organized and feeds smoothly, paying attention to information coming from the baby about timing, tempo, frequency and amounts.It’s time to establish a Division of Responsibility. This is a subject heavily researched by American Dietitian and Family Therapist Ellyn Satter. Parents are responsible for what, when and where food is eaten. Children are responsible for whether and how much food is eaten. It is not parents job to get food into the child. With infants parents decide what is fed ie breast or bottle, the infant is in control of everything else. The parent helps the infant to be calm and organized and feeds smoothly, paying attention to information coming from the baby about timing, tempo, frequency and amounts.
Parents Jobs | Children’s Job |
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Fundamental to parents’ jobs is trusting children to decide how much and whether to eat. If parents do their jobs with feeding, children will do their jobs with eating. Problems arise when we adults cross the boundaries and try to do children’s jobs for them.
This may seem terribly simplistic when you are in the middle of a pitched battle to get your child to eat anything green, however think about what you are doing at the moment, is it working? how do you feel? Is it worth trying something “crazy” like letting your child get on with it themselves (or not)?
The first step is to get organised:
Note: Modify the times to suit your families routine
Remember it is your job to decide what is served and when. If your kids are up to it, talk about some of the changes you are making.
The goal in all of this is to teach your child the value of meal times and the consequence of their choice to eat or not. It also takes pressure of children who have been given too much choice and control with food and eating, it frees them up to be a kid.
It is so important that you know you are a role model. The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is to enjoy your food and respect your body. If this is not the case you need to speak to a professional (your GP, a dietitian, or psychologist) and get help for yourself.
Mila cannot speak highly enough of all the teachers in the Bambini room, and every encounter I've had thus far with Sue, Renee, Sarah and Mariam have been wonderful. It's nice to know she has these lovely ladies looking out for her whilst she is under your care.
Dragana